How to Impress a Date Without Actually Cooking

How to Impress a Date Without Actually Cooking (You’re Welcome)

Look, not everyone wants to spend their evening panic-chopping onions and second-guessing if that chicken is actually cooked. And honestly? That’s okay.

If you're trying to impress someone without destroying your kitchen or your dignity in the process, here’s a little secret:

Hire a private chef.
(Hi. It’s me. I’m the loophole.)

Step 1: Romance the Room First

Light a candle. Or three. Play something soft in the background - nothing that screams “I made a playlist for this,” but definitely something that makes you seem emotionally intelligent.

Hide anything that says “I eat cereal for dinner.” That includes ramen wrappers, your air fryer, and the laundry you swore you folded yesterday.

You’re not just setting the table - you’re setting the tone. Cozy. Intentional. Slightly suspicious in how good it looks.

Step 2: Bring in Backup (That’s Me)

Instead of struggling through a complicated recipe and ending up with something that looks better in theory than on the plate, bring me in. I’ll arrive with ingredients, tools, and a strong stance on why parsley is not just a garnish.

Your role? Pour a drink, look casually impressive, and pretend this kind of night is just how you roll.

Step 3: Lie (Gently)

When your date asks, “Did you make this?” give them that little half-smile and say:

“I had a little help.”

Sure, technically it’s a soft lie - but it’s the romantic kind. Like saying you “only drink on weekends” while holding a wine glass on a Thursday.
You’re not fibbing, you’re curating. Like a gallery owner. Of food. With better taste and less eye-rolling.

Step 4: Take Full Credit for Dessert

Even if I whip up the most flawless chocolate creation, you get the applause.
Just lean in and say, “It’s all about balance.”
(Because apparently so is fibbing on a first date.)

Step 5: Let the Romance Cook Itself

By the end of the night, your kitchen’s clean, your food’s a hit, and your date thinks you’re one soufflé away from a cooking show deal.
You didn’t lift a spatula - just a wine glass.

No judgment if you keep curating your way through future dates, too. Turns out, effortless looks really good on you.

Ready to Make It Happen?

Want to pull off the ultimate dinner date flex without touching a spatula?

[Book me for a night in →Contact ]